Love and Destiny
By Helena Lind, creator at large
We’ve all done it. Sometimes, when something happens, it might not be a be-all and end-all situation, but it seems like a stopping point.
• The keys are lost
• We can’t locate our wallet
• There’s a problem at work, and if it doesn’t get fixed, we’ll be written up
Our first instinct is to think – oh, please, don’t let this happen. If there’s anyone, anything out there, don’t let this happen. We’re not reaching out to any specific deity. We feel, though, we would like to connect to the great source, not just speak to anything or anyone that may or may not listen.
We’re talking to Destiny
And it is even more prevalent when it comes to our romantic relationships.
Our thoughts go:
Please let this work out
Please let her be the One
Please let us stay together
Please let her truly love me
Please don’t let him leave me
Please let us take care of each other
The heart’s wish list goes on, seemingly forever. And what is the bottom line at the end of many of those wishes, prayers and hopes?
Most people just don’t want to be alone
So it’s not just you. Many have that thought, at least once in a while. Yearning for that good feeling. Humans are naturally drawn to companionship. It’s something that seems to make us better on a level that we often can’t explain, and we don’t always like to acknowledge.
It’s why so many of us enjoy having pets – cats and dogs can offer us a lovely sort of companionship, and often help fill the emptiness many people encounter as result of inner loneliness. And that’s not just those living on their own. Despite being surrounded by family and friends or in seemingly stable relationships, we can still feel unanswered and even alien. That’s were a beloved pet can be of incredible importance.
Whichever way we slice it, most of us don’t like being the proverbial island. Humans do not want to feel alone. We love being around others. Even those of us that have problems with anxiety and depression still want to be around others on some level. It helps with our mood, and it helps with our general mindset.It makes sense that so many of us want to find something more than just companionship between a friend or a pet.
We want to love, and we want to be loved
And so we seek to find a deeper level of companionship; the place of the heart we can go home to after a hard day at work. Ideally we’ll fall into the arms of someone that truly loves us and cares for us enough to listen to every last worry, complaint and desperate bid to make life bend to our whims.
Also, we’ll share every high and triumph with the One to whom we want to lovingly offer the same attention in return. Because that kind of love works both ways. Then, when we manifest that yearning, unconscious, unbidden, it’s from a space so deep within, that, often, it can hardly be recognised. Our soul is missing pieces, and it’s crying out for something – for someone – to come, understand and help us fill that void, together.
We may just be missing what is commonly called our soulmate.
Is the concept of soulmate relevant?
To many millions on this planet, it is. Plenty of us don’t give up hope, don’t just settle, but continue to wait for that significant other popularly referred to as a ‘soulmate’ to show up and soothe the ache that comes with not feeling whole.
Speaking of relevancy, let’s take a brief look on my perspective on preordained love: Partners in Destiny and Destined Love.
There is the great power of life in Destined Love, encompassing the inner, invisible connection, the romance and the eros.
It’s a special feeling to know to be destined for emotional impact, to co-shape a shared future by living knowingly and well. Just consider my theory of Agents of Destiny for a moment. It might be a concept that you’re not familiar with, but, I hope, it’s an idea that you’re trying to find out more about through Destinosophy. Because, in large and small contexts, you, too, may soon be playing out Destiny’s hand in real life. And, as it happens, in every aspect of the world, some people are granted a larger role than others.
And then there are my Agents of Destiny
Now, they don’t always wear black, but they do know and organise the world around us so much better than other beings. Agents of Destiny are people who have (been) chosen, or who qualify to be Destiny’s hand on this planet. They’re bringing about change, also in people, always for the better.
Sometimes, these agents are meant to bring about necessary dynamics to the course of time, circumstances, history and love. I know – you’re thinking, what’s so important that love would be included in that list? But the simple fact is this – our world wouldn’t exist without love. We wouldn’t have the drive to push onwards if it wasn’t for the fact we are trying to do better for others out of deep affection. Love isn’t something you can explain in two or three words. Many good dictionaries tried their luck.
But dry descriptors can’t quite reach the mark of this superpower. See, love isn’t just a jumble of words. Often, it can’t even be properly explained. It’s a feeling deep within you; a budding burst of affection, energy and warmth.
These feelings make you want to do better so you can create a better world for that special person, or those around you. As such, when an Agent of Destiny is about to improve the world, be it for their loved one, or humanity, an unstoppable force is created. These guys are loved by Destiny – they have a path stretched out before them, one they cannot help but walk down, helping to shape life and history into something worthy. They were sent by Destiny. But I digress; let us return to Partners in Destiny.
In this article, we’re going to talk about some of the more well-documented cases of individuals who were destined to meet, how to figure out whether we have that kind of love written in the book of our providence, and how to tell when we have met our Destined Love or Agent of Destiny for the heart.
It can be particularly counterproductive for us to ignore our true spiritual world in the wake of the modern-day era. After all, there’s a lot going on. We have so many challenges in life, work, business and education. Our days are dotted with computers, the internet, mobiles, social and mainstream media, and all kinds of expectations. No wonder people follow those ever popular appearances of celebrity icons or famous couples. Do you know if some of them are Partners in Destiny?
Simply put, that means ‘meant to be together’.
No matter what. And then some. We experience familial, platonic and, in some cases, deeply romantic bonds that seem straight out of a dream. Throughout the ages there have been reports, and legends, of those who come into our lives for an important reason. Sometimes, it’s a true friend. Or, the love that you were meant to meet right from the start.
A beautiful ideal. See, when two such people encounter each other in their lives, the flow of their feelings, and their interactions, can create a specific kind of energy. This energy may manifest in more than one way. For the purpose of this article, we’re going to discuss the specific energy field that creates a sense of déjà vu.
Suddenly we may meet someone whose soul seems to click into place with ours in such a natural way that it’s as if we’ve known them forever. Now, before I address just a few of the different types of Destiny-related relationships, I want to talk about some famous people you already may have seen in a special connection.
One example is Liz Taylor and Richard Burton, who had such a strong, albeit destructive connection, that the energy could be seen in every picture taken together. They were famous for getting married, divorced, then teaming back up again for a second marriage. They loved each other even more than was good for them. To distraction. Hence they had to part. Still, their love prevailed within.
When Destined Lovers cannot be at one and have to separate, they won’t stop being devoted to each other in their hearts and souls. It won’t stop. Not in the greater and not in any everyday context.
It’s said that no matter where he was in the world, at five in the afternoon, without fail, Paul Newman would call his wife, Joanne Woodward.
Another example is the entwined life and Destiny of Nancy and Ronald Reagan.
The connection between such partners goes far beyond the usually forced romanticism found within our culture and mainstream media. In fact, they hold a union that can be seen within their televised interviews and pictures – a connection that cannot be ignored or comprehended. We see their love, and we seek out a version of that in our own lives. While the chaos of today’s celebrities’ constantly changing lives might be more interesting in terms of news articles and magazine covers, it’s really those celebrities with such obvious connections – clearly visible soul bonds – that we can’t help but try to look to for such traits within our lives.
But what about ‘meant-to-be’ lovers that aren’t in the spotlight?
It’s not that the internet, magazines, the big screen and television are the only reason we have access to these seemingly destined couples. In fact, there are famous cases of concrete and irrefutable soulmates and Partners in Destiny in the pages of our history books.
Napoleon Bonaparte and Joséphine and Emperor Augustus and Livia are just two examples of real-life and legendary Partners in Destiny.
Do you know that many scholars and romantics have coined Napoleon Bonaparte’s letters to his wife Joséphine de Beauharnais the most romantic in all history? He was enraptured with her from the start and they quickly fell into a whirlwind romance.
Ever since I left you, I have been sad. I am only happy when by your side. Ceaselessly I recall your kisses, your tears, your enchanting jealousy; and the charms of the incomparable Joséphine keep constantly alight a bright and burning flame in my heart and senses.
-Napoleon Bonaparte
Napoleon often referred to Joséphine as his all and everything. And Joséphine loved him deeply, albeit in the beginning, it wasn’t easy for her to be true to him alone. She was a very, very popular and much admired and loved lady. And, though they would eventually find themselves divorced from each other in the dynastic and political interest of France, they stayed connected, and it was Joséphine’s name that was the last word Napoleon ever uttered.
We must recall that, in the world of global realms and politics, love seldom played a role in marriage – and if it did, it sometimes had mixed results. And yet there are few scholars who can deny, through the inscriptions, coinage, and texts discovered over the years, that certain royal lovers simply were ‘written’.
Let us take a look at a few examples of this type of deep, passionate, all-consuming, yet ultimately challenging type of love throughout history.
Hundreds of examples of this passionate, destined type of love can also be found throughout our legends and even our religious texts. By now, it’s obvious that King Solomon and the Queen of Sheba were soul lovers. The story of the Queen of Sheba’s visits to King Solomon is a magnificent example; a narrative which has undergone extensive elaborations. Their royal romance has become the subject of one of the most widespread cycles of legends.
The Bible states:
And King Solomon gave to the Queen of Sheba all that she desired, whatever she asked besides what was given her by the bounty of King Solomon.
Many people prefer to avoid relating only to texts of a religious nature. They seek out evidence of predestined love within mythological texts, for example, those of the Arthurian era.
And then there is also the love story of Robin Hood and Lady Marian. There’s some debate as to whether these wondrous protagonists are based in truth or not, but there’s no real argument as to whether or not they were completely meant for each other. And yet even these time-proven legends in love had to face problems.
It seems that every great love is tasked with at least one obstacle that must be overcome. I think that brings up an interesting question:
If we’re destined for each other, why isn’t love easy?
People often assume that when you find one of these destined, soulmate relationships, it will be easier than other types of relationships. We like to expect this because of the closeness of true friendship often found with this special person, the depth of connection one feels with ‘the One’ and those often described similarities that can create vivid energy and a feeling of having finally ‘reached home’.
But the truth is that when deep passions are stirred as well, these sparks can become raging flames. Such powerful caring, connection and passion can also bring hot tempers, impatience, sometimes obsessive demeanours and demanding behaviour, easily highlighted in the Arthurian tale of Lancelot and Guinevere.
One of the greatest knights of the Round Table was known as Sir Lancelot of the Lake. He was loyal, wise, strong and kind. And mightily attractive. But, clandestinely, he was in love with King Arthur’s Queen, Guinevere. Lancelot rejected all other ladies, such as the famous Demoiselle d’Escalot, who fell in love with him and died of a supposed broken heart when Lancelot found it impossible to reciprocate her feelings. Lancelot’s undying love for Guinevere eventually turned into a force of demise. Their adulterous relationship was based on emotional turmoil and an affection that shouldn’t have been acted upon.
Those were the days when most people could not simply go and live their emotions. Today, they would responsibly renounce their powerful positions to leave the court and their glorious pasts behind for a simple yet meaningful new life of shared love and deep connection, right? Ideally speaking. Realistic? Rarely.
Never forget the collateral damage in the wake of such decisions. And, equally, never forget that not all humans are as well meaning, generous and open-minded as they like to see themselves.
Because those not begrudging such a step will be few and far between. Love can come at a hefty price. In our modern day it may seem all too easy to set eyes, if not ideas, and even design on someone we should not desire. Easier said than done. This is why challenging, demanding, draining, passionate, intense, painful, haunting and addictive are all descriptors we can also apply to the nature of deep love. But if it truly is what it is, it could be argued it’s like that for a manifest reason.
Sometimes, like with the Queen of Sheba and King Solomon, love comes easy and without strife. Other times, such as with the ladies who loved Sir Lancelot, it can create a whirlwind of passion that borders on dangerous and makes for superb, eternal stories. What’s that old saying again?
Love ain’t easy, folks
And Destined Relationships aren’t, either. But they are always worth it.
It was worth it to the Norse Gods Freya and Odin, who would fight at each other’s side and for each other’s name countless times during their reign.
It was worth it to the Greek Gods Ares and Aphrodite, who risked ridicule and adulterous notions to be with each other.
And it was always worth it to Hathor, Mistress of the West, rightly hailed as one of the most important Goddesses of Egypt, worshipped by royalty and commoners alike.
As Bob Marley is famous for saying:
Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you. You just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.
Of course, ideally, you should find the one person willing to suffer for you in return. And, like in every worthwhile relationship, destined Lovers must learn to grow within their sphere. Neither partner will be able to remain as they were prior to the relationship.
Age, illness, misfortune and tragedy can get hold of anyone, anytime. Good looks, sex appeal, success and wealth may fade. Life is hard. The one big difference for Partners in Destiny is that their attachment, mutual love, respect and trust stays strong.
Extraordinary love aways looks beyond. The love of Partners in Destiny grows even stronger when challenged. Because, as detailed above, extraordinary, destined feelings rarely come easy to begin with. Those proverbial trials and tribulations are part and parcel of this territory, so, if the going gets tough later, it won’t spook a real Partner in Destiny. In fact, they’re always ready to go to battle for the good and true. It often also doesn’t come easy for those who are in the limelight of modern-day fame, even if it may appear so, as it didn’t come easy for those from history. And it will not be plain sailing for you. But let me again tell you this:
It’s worth it
And it can even be funny, especially if a seasoned yet forgetful womaniser is hit with true love courtesy of, and with best wishes from, Destiny. The world will shake. Just like the superpower of Destiny, preordained connections have many aspects and facets.
But back to the moment when you find that one love: you may play ignorant, yet you will know, deep down, that you must do everything in your power to hold on to it, one way or another. That, of course, leads us to question: how can we find that? Well, again, it’s actually bloody difficult. You see, love is more than just romance and eros. It’s something that may have been a meant-to-be and all-encompassing, yet perhaps deliberately or circumstantially ignored, major element of our lives. The relationship that ignites a spark within our soul is more than just idle daydreaming, looking for just another flirt to make us feel good about our day, and so much more than a few quickly typed text messages and heart-shaped emojis, let alone a one-night stand.
Extraordinary Destined Love takes time
Demands time, even. Because, it’s not fleeting! And there is no real place for giddy infatuation or narcissistic love-bombing, nor mind-numbing sexual desire. Just this majestic knowing and divinely dark-blue depth of emotion and belonging. It’s ever so different to, and so much more than any other relationship or friendship we may have been involved in.
We’ve all get an idea of that through the internet-famous # someone that you would go to jail with after a Friday night out. Ring any bells? Such a cute basic example of a special other, or a destined friend. Both types are someone that you would do the unthinkable for. Also, there are destined guides, who are willing and able to lift us out of misery and navigate us through life. Often, they may not tell us what we want to hear. It’s within these realms that we discover our destined feelings, perhaps our own Agent of Destiny of the heart, and the missing pieces to our existence.
Do we have Destined Love written in the book of our life?
Maybe. Yes, you read that right: maybe.
Everyone wants to meet that one empowering person that connects with their soul so utterly and completely. They want to meet the Agent of Destiny that sets their life to rights, that fits together with their own being so utterly that it’s obvious they have met them before, in a different life.
Lovers bound to meet each other, playing out the hand that Destiny has given twice, or even several times over – an endless loop of learning and meaning through which we can meet each other, time and again, through which we can complement each other and heal.
But that doesn’t mean we are always meant to find or keep our Agent of Destiny within every life cycle. See, our path is always twining, twisting and changing. That’s what it means to be a spirited being after all. And … we must make our own decisions. We walk down a road that maybe paved by Destiny, but often also defined by us, since we actually do have a say in it, and we often action our directions ourselves.
We often make mistakes or take the wrong turn. As such, there are going to be times and lives where we simply don’t meet our destined lover. Or we do, and still, we cannot be together. More on that in my next book.
Destined Love exists
It is rare though yet it may be waiting for you close by, it may be far, yet still it’s just a few life beats away. Or a whole lifetime. One day, in this sphere or in the next, it’ll happen. In the end, it’s all going to have been worth it, as long as we do not act in a self-centred and egotistical way.
Never choose any other route but that of caring, compassion and responsibility. In fact, you better prepare for patience, pain and even sacrifice. Because it may just not be possible to be together soon, not even in good time. Perhaps, not at all in this life.
Destiny may be the reason for your deep connection, yet it should never be an excuse for reckless egomania.
There is rarely a guarantee to a happy ever after built into Destined Love. Only your feelings and their background are certain. Being true Partners in Destiny also means each of you know you must never damage the other or their existing world, even if the latter experience is difficult and unhappy.
You support, you empower, but you don’t tear anyone down. Unless it’s Necessity in a higher sense.
And, while we’re on it, you do not really need the other to complete yourself and eliminate your own shortcomings. The magic awaits in absolute truth, acceptance and divine synergy, not clingy or lazy neediness.
Destined Love goes further: you are both dedicated to protecting and bringing out the best in each other, and to be always complete – together or apart – both solely as individuals and as the force of togetherness, while likely paying a high price for the bond over time and space.
It’ll be absolutely worth it though.
We meet ourselves time and again in a thousand disguises on the path of life.
-Carl Jung
The Destiny Book by Helena Lind will be published 2023.
For updates and more information please visit our Publications page.
If you wish to find out more about The Destiny Book why not read the article A Teaser to my Book on Destiny by Helena Lind.
Helena Lind is an independent thinker and the author of The Destiny Book: Rediscovering the Mother of Spirituality (Identity Publications, 2023), the first in the Destinosophy series on her philosophy of a peaceful, prosperous, and partnering concept of Human Destiny. The unconventional ex-music producer, creator and author's views on the foremost principle in the universe flow from a wide spectrum of personal experience, her serial overcoming of tremendous obstacles, and decades of multi-directional study.